When I was a freshman in college and I first walked into Miller Dining Hall I saw something I had never seen before. There was a colorful row of bulk cereal dispensers with an inviting stack of bowls next to it. Excited, I scanned my options and saw that they had Captain Crunch with crunchberries. My mom never let me have the sugary cereals growing up so I was pretty excited. I helped myself to a bowl and thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the crunchberries. I liked the crunchberries so much that I went back and got five more bowls of Captain Crunch, picked out all the berries, and had myself an all crunchberry bowl of red die number 40 goodness. That was back in the 80s before they actually sold official boxes of just crunchberries. It seemed like a culinary stroke of genius in the dining hall, but afterward in the bathroom, I regretted it.
The Ultraman Story is what you think you want in an Ultraman movie but like a bowl of crunchberries, it’s not easy to digest. You would think it would be great to cut out all the humans running around with their emotional plot lines and all the screaming and yelling and just have a 100% Ultraman film. The movie would just feature lots of different monsters and lots of different fights cutting out all the boring stuff in-between. Sounds good but it isn’t good.
